Reflection of the Sun – Chapter 4

Reflection of the Sun
Chapter 4: He’s My Boyfriend

“What’s wrong, Oon?” Two small hands frame my face and turn my head to look away from the window. A thumb brushes across my cheek and I look up into Namtarn’s concerned gaze. There’s nothing I can say or explain. I can’t even process what just happened. Reaching up, my hands cover hers but I don’t know if it’s to pull them away or hold them closer, needing the comfort they offer.

“What the hell is going on?!” A loud, irate voice takes that decision away from me. Namtarn jumps back in a panic, her hands falling away. Eyes as round as saucers, she stares at the man standing at the entrance. I don’t have to look to know who it is. I know that voice very well. “Answer me!”

“What do you care?” Trembling, Namtarn stands a bit straighter and a stubborn look brightens her eyes. Her hands curl into fists as if wanting to strike the newcomer. “It’s none of your business.”

“What do you mean it’s none of my business?! You were kissing Ai’Oon! How is that not my business?” His anger has me jolting up and facing him. The scowl that greets me makes me take a step nearer to Namtarn wondering if she will need protection. This action clearly pisses him off even more and he stomps closer, his lean build tense from trying to control his emotions. His voice lowers as he glowers at me, his mahogany eyes glinting. “Do you seriously consider me your friend, Arthit?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Namtarn cuts in as she slides an arm through mine and holds tight. “You are the one who threw me away, Jay. Remember? I can be with whoever I want.”

“No, you can’t! I won’t let you.” Jay grabs her wrist and jerks her away from me. With a painful yelp, Namtarn stumbles and falls to the floor.

“What the fuck, Ai’Jay?! She’s a girl!” All ideas of trying to keep the situation calm fly out the window as my temper flares. Raising both hands, I shove him hard on the chest. He falls back several steps and growls at me. I move closer and get into his face, not caring that he’s one of my oldest friends. “Why don’t you try that shit with me?!”

Another unintelligible growl and Jay pulls back his fist ready to clock me one. I’m too angry to give a shit. Let him fucking hit me. It will be the last thing he does. The punch never comes. Someone’s large hand gets in the way and pushes his fist down to his side. Annoyed, Jay and I both look to the side to find Knott standing there calming watching the both of us.

“I think that’s enough for now.” Crossing his arms, Knott stares at us as if we are misbehaving five year olds.

“This isn’t over.” With a nasty eye to Knott, Jay points at me and barely glances at his ex-girlfriend who is still sitting on the cold tile floor rubbing her wrist. For a moment, I swear I see regret color his eyes before he turns away to leave. His voice softens several degrees. “I’ll talk to you later, Nam.”

Namtarn doesn’t reply and doesn’t look at him. With a heavy sigh, Jay walks out the door. My ire has lessened considerably and I’m left shaking my head at his retreating back. This stupid bastard is clearly still in love with her. What the hell is he thinking?

“Ai’Arthit, I think you have bigger problems to deal with than him.” With a significant glance down at Namtarn, he looks back at me and leans close to whisper by my ear. “I’m not sure what is going on with you but you better figure it out fast before you lose both of them.”

“Both? What do you…” My confusion clears as Kong’s face pops into my head. It isn’t the smiling, happy face that I usually see. It’s the face I saw earlier. His face when he saw what happened with Namtarn. The crushed look he gave me before walking away, as if his heart had dropped out of his body and I had casually played a round of football with it. I betrayed him. I betrayed us. The pink milk I drank earlier threatens to make an appearance as my stomach churns with guilt.

“Where did he go?” It is agony to get the words out through my stiff lips and I can’t look at my friend. I’m too ashamed, too guilty. Namtarn may have started it but I didn’t stop her. I didn’t push her away. In that moment, for just a second, I closed my eyes and kissed her back. For that sentimental weakness to someone I used to love, I hurt the person who is most important to me… the one who showed me what real love is.

“I don’t know. Ai’Prem went after him.” Knott’s answer surprises me. I didn’t know ai’Prem was here and I’m even more ashamed. Not only did he also witness this travesty, ai’Prem also went running after my boyfriend, something I should have been the one to do. “I’ll call him and find out where they are.”

“What’s wrong?” His silence after he turns away worries me.

“Prem’s phone is turned off.” After holding the phone to his ear for what seems forever, Knott faces me with a frown. “I don’t know where they are.”

Where is he? Where would he go? I don’t know. I can’t think. My knees giving out, I sink to the floor. Kongpob is gone and it’s my fault. This can’t be happening.

“Ai’Arthit!” Through the haze in my head I barely hear Knott’s shout.

“What’s going on? What’s wrong?” The forgotten girl still sitting on the floor nearby speaks up, confusion laced in her words. “Oon?”

“We shouldn’t have done that, Namtarn.” Tears blur my vision, but I don’t have the strength to hold them back or wipe them away.

“Oon!” Forgetting her own problems, Namtarn crawls over and reaches out to hug me, but I shy back as if avoiding a strike. “Oon, what’s wrong? I don’t understand.”

“I think it’s best if you go home.” Leaning down, Knott gently grasps her arm to help her stand up.

“No! I can’t leave him like this!” Jerking her arm away, Namtarn tries to touch my arm in concern. “Oon…”

“No! Don’t, Namtarn. Just don’t.” Shuffling further back, I quickly scramble to my feet. “Don’t touch me. Don’t hug me. Don’t do anything.”

“I don’t understand what’s going on, Oon. Why can’t I touch you? Why…” Namtarn stands up looking hurt and more confused.

“He saw us, Namtarn! Kongpob saw us kiss and now I don’t know where he is! He’s gone and it’s my fault… he’s gone.” Clenching my fists, I can feel the panic choke me. I’m half a second from completely losing it.

“Kongpob? Your junior?” I don’t answer but she isn’t really asking. Her other questions are more important. “What does he have to do with it? Why would he care? I’m sure he’s seen people kiss before. It none of his business anyway.”

“Namtarn…” Knott tries to interrupt but it’s too late.

“None of his business… none of his business?” A bitter laugh escapes me and I run an agitated hand through my hair. “If it’s not his business, then who the hell’s business is it?”

“What…” She tries to speak but I don’t let her. I’ve had enough.

“He’s my BOYFRIEND, Namtarn! He’s my boyfriend and he saw me kiss someone else so, yes, I think he would fucking care.” After screaming at one of my oldest friends, I collapse into a chair and bury my face in my hands so I don’t have to look at her. I don’t know what Namtarn’s reaction to this is and I can’t find it in myself to care. Her being here, her presence, emphasizes my own pain and guilt.

“Go back to your room, ai’Arthit. You can try calling Kongpob after you’ve both hopefully calmed down.” Giving my shoulder a comforting squeeze, Knott waits for me to nod in acknowledgment before leading a probably very shocked Namtarn out of the café.

Dejected, tired, and broken, I trudge my way to my building and up to my room. The curtains are still open from earlier when I waved a good morning to Kongpob. He had smiled widely at me and winked while blowing a kiss. It was so cheesy but I secretly love it when he does stuff like that, not that I will ever admit it. He’s already too cocky. Looking at the window now and across the way to Kong’s dark room, I wonder if that will ever happen again. Will I ever see Kong after this standing on his balcony with that teasing grin of his as he sends me mushy text messages?

The thoughts weigh heavily on me as I continue to stare at his room. Every memory of us stabs me harshly and I fall limply on my bed, face down. I don’t bother to turn on the lights and the dark gloom surrounds me as the sun sets outside. A sharp knock on my door breaks me out of my daze of misery but I don’t move.

“Arthit! Open the door, ai’Arthit, or I swear I will break it down.” Knott says in a restrained yell and knocks again. Knowing him and his insane amount of muscles, the guy is perfectly capable of doing what he threatened so I drag myself up off the bed.

“I’m here! Stop attacking my fucking door!” Throwing open the door, I’m greeted with Knott’s fist in front of my eyes as he’s about to knock again.

“Then answer your door when I knock next time.” Knott says reasonably while checking me out from head to toe. His worry is evident. “You didn’t answer my call or my text so I came over to make sure you’re okay and not doing anything stupid.”

“Home safe and sound, Mother Knott.” Spreading an arm wide showing myself in my room, I give a sardonic laugh. “All ten fingers and ten toes are accounted for.”

“You’re such a pain.” Shaking his head, Knock crosses his arms and eyes me seriously. “As long as you’re okay.”

“I’m not but I won’t do anything stupid. I just want to be alone right now.” I look down at my feet and will myself not to cry in front of him.

“Fine. I’ll let you be but call me if you need anything.” With a loud sigh, Knott gives in and steps back from the doorway with a wave.

“Thanks, ai’Knott.” My hand slowly shuts the door on my friend as I reply. As soon as it clicks shut, I turn the lock and walk back to my bed to sit on the edge. I sigh deeply in the dark of my room and fall back onto my bed, rolling over to curl into a ball, hoping that sleep will steal me away.

A long time later, sleep is elusive and I can’t take it anymore. My phone has a couple text messages from Knott and his missed call when I pull it out of my pocket. No need to respond now. There isn’t anything from Kong or from ai’Prem. Needing to hear Kong’s voice, to know what is happening with him, I try to call but it goes to voice mail. His phone is off. It’s the same with ai’Prem when I call him. I try Kong again since I can’t leave it like that.

“Hey, Kongpob.” Hesitant, I try to calm my shaking voice as I leave him this message. There’s nothing I can do about the tears streaming down my face so I just let them drip freely onto the pillow below. “It’s Arthit… but you probably know that. Are you okay? …stupid question… uh… Can we talk? Please call me when you get this. Whenever you get this. Please… I just… um… I need to hear from you. Please, Kong.”

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Hello dearest readers!
Yes, more angst and drama. How was the tissue count with this chapter?
No, you are still not allowed to kill me. You don’t want the story to end here, do you?
How many of you still want to slap Arthit?
How many think Knott would look really good standing on their doorstep?

As always, please let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

-Jae