Kongpob & Arthit
The Second Night
After the last time, I never thought I would be in this position again and it makes me half afraid of what will happen come morning. P’Arthit was less than friendly the next morning and avoided me for days afterwards. Although he hasn’t said anything, I wonder if he was really asleep when I confessed how I felt. They were words that I couldn’t say to him when he asked if I had feelings for him. I could only say them in the dark of night to the silhouette of his back at a time when I thought he was deep asleep. Was he actually not asleep and that’s why he reacted that way or was he just uncomfortable facing me after spending the night sharing a bed since we weren’t exactly close?
Whatever it was, the reaction to that night was pure torture for me. I may not have been completely positive of my answer to his question before but now there is no doubt in my mind after experiencing being apart from him and rejected by him. Somehow, though I didn’t intend for it to happen, I really did fall for him and I was miserable at our separation. I won’t be able to stand it if the same thing happens again.
Fluffing the extra pillow I usually keep in my closet, I scoot my own pillow over and place the spare one on the side of the bed closest to the bathroom, P’Arthit’s side of the bed. The sight of the two pillows, side by side, cause a few butterflies to tickle my insides. While I’ve shared a bed with friends before, even that one time with p’Arthit, this is the first time I’m sharing it with a lover. It amazes me that we have gotten to this point. I was happy with him asking me for a date, but never expected that we would end up sharing my bed again at the end of it. It’s especially surprising because he is the one that suggested it. After spending the day together, we came back to my room to eat supper and spent the whole evening talking. When I commented on how late it had gotten, p’Arthit said he was too lazy to walk home and asked if it would be okay if he stayed here. There was no way that I going to tell him no.
The sound of the bathroom door opening breaks me out of my thoughts and I finally look away from the pillows on my bed only to lose my heart even more to the man walking towards me. A fluffy white towel is draped over his head and shoulders as he rubs his dark, wet locks. His cheeks are tinted a rosy pink from the hot shower and a few droplets of water escape the towel to trace a pattern down the lines of his neck. I watch as they disappear under the fabric of his black tank top and have an urge to follow the path with my fingers, to feel the silky looking skin.
“I’m done.” P’Arthit puts the towel on a hanger to dry.
His words bring my thoughts back from where they shouldn’t be drifting and I quickly grab my towel to escape into the bathroom before he notices my very obvious interest. Inside is not much better as the remnants of steam swirl around the room and the musky smell of soap lingers. The thought that p’Arthit was just in here crosses my already heated imagination. A warm, wet, and very naked p’Arthit who now smells of me after using my shower products. Really not helping.
“Don’t think about it, Kong.” Looking myself in the eyes in the mirror, I brace both hands on either side of the sink and take a deep breath. “Stop thinking about it. It’s just another night and he’s stayed here before. Just because he’s my boyfriend now does not mean anything is going to happen… My very cute and entirely too sexy boyfriend who is going to be sleeping next to me in my bed… Damn.”
With an uncomfortable feeling in my pants, I turn the shower on and get undressed before stepping in. The spray hits my chest with a sharp sting and an answering throb comes from below with an image of p’Arthit wafting through my mind. This is not good. I’m going to end up jumping him before the night is over at this rate. Knowing he might hear me if I take care of it myself (I’m not exactly quiet), which would be too embarrassing, I do the only thing I can do. I grit my teeth and mercilessly turn the knob on the shower. Icy cold water strikes me and all thoughts I may be having of an inappropriate nature scatter. The throb below turns into a whimper and I quickly wash up. After finishing the rest of my nightly routine, I feel more calm (if a bit cold) as I leave the bathroom.
P’Arthit looks up with a smile when he notices me and I wonder if a second shower is needed. Just one cold shower doesn’t seem to be enough as he sits comfortably on my bed leaning against the headboard with his legs stretched out. The sight is too much for me. Quickly looking anywhere but at him, I hang up my towel next to his.
“Are you ready to sleep, p’Arthit?” I’m very proud that my voice sounds calm when my heart is racing so much. “I can get the lights, if you are.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him nod in agreement and wait as he tucks himself in before killing the lights. Darkness blankets the room and my eyes slowly adjust to the dim light barely peeking through the curtains as I make my way to the other side of the bed. I slip under the covers to lay stiffly on my back, every fiber of my body aware of the person on the other side of the bed.
“Goodnight, p’Arthit.” My voice breaks the stillness and I feel him shuffle on the bed. Warm breath skitters across my cheek followed by a soft pressure on my lips which disappears just as quickly.
“Goodnight, Kong,” P’Arthit whispers into my ear and he moves back to the other side.
That just happened, right? Stunned, I brush my fingers over my lips, still feeling the ghost of a kiss. That happened. That really happened. I can’t stop a wide smile. I don’t know how I’ll be able to sleep after this.
“I love you, p’Arthit.” Rolling to my side, I curl up close and sneak a hand around his waist to pull his back up against my front.
“Kongpob!” My hand gets shoved away roughly.
Too much. I must have gone too far for him. I was just so happy to have him here and have his goodnight kiss that I wanted to touch him, to hug him, to let him know what it means to me. A painful ache builds in my chest at the thought that p’Arthit is disgusted with my behavior. I was less than a gentleman should be. How do I say I’m sorry?
Tentatively, I reach a hand over and give his shoulder a gentle squeeze, trying to convey my regret. I let go after a brief moment since the last thing I want is to upset him further with my touch. We’ve only just started and already I’ve made a mistake.
Silence fills the room, a miserable silence, as I contemplate p’Arthit’s back in the darkness. It feels like I’ve gone back in time to the first night he spent here. I stared at his back then, too, but this is worse as p’Arthit remains unmoved. It seems I am not so easily forgiven. Falling back with a depressed sigh, I raise one arm over my head and stare helplessly at the ceiling with no idea on how to make things right between us.
Several minutes pass with only the sound of our breathing in the room. Suddenly, the bed shakes as p’Arthit rolls towards me. He doesn’t stop until his head is settled firmly on my shoulder with an arm around my waist and a leg thrown over my own. A soft beam of light falls on his face revealing the sweetest of smiles.
“I love you, too.” This whisper is gruff and he buries his face into my chest immediately after saying it.
P’Arthit isn’t mad at me! The aching pain dulls in an instant. P’Arthit forgives me! The smile returns to my face. P’Arthit said he loves me! My heart skips a beat in happiness. P’ARTHIT IS SNUGGLING HIS BODY INTO MY SIDE! My heart stops and then starts pounding as my eyes widen.
The heat from him seeps into me and his warm breath flutters over my skin. He really is here. He’s really touching me. He’s really in my arms… wait! No, he’s not. I haven’t moved a muscle yet. My arm is still above my head. P’Arthit is hugging me and I’m doing nothing! I froze the second he moved over here.
Sighing, p’Arthit starts to roll away without looking up at me. The corners of his mouth are turned down in a sad pout. I can’t let him leave me. I can’t let him go. My arm swiftly lowers and captures him, pulling him back to where he was before. My other arm wraps over top to hold him in place.
“Stay.” One simple word but it encompasses everything I want to say. Stay right here. Stay with me just as you are. Stay in my arms. Stay by my side. Stay in my heart. I beg you, just stay. Too overwhelmed to say anything more than that one word, I lean down and press my lips to his smooth forehead.
Half expecting him to push me away again, I brace myself for whatever may happen. I wait to hear the usual sharp shout of my name, but it doesn’t come. He doesn’t shove me away this time either. To my delighted surprise, p’Arthit pulls me closer with an exasperated groan and throws his leg over mine again.
“Go to sleep, Kongpob.”